No one gets to choose their parents but certain holidays, like Father’s Day, make it especially difficult for some children to honor their dads the way society expects them to. Carol-Ann Hamilton, whose late father was demanding, knows the guilt and conflicting emotions some adult children will face on Father’s Day.
As the author of Coping with Un-cope-able Parents: LOVING ACTION for Eldercare, she advises such children to refuse to accept society’s messages about how to treat a father, especially if that dad was physically, mentally or emotionally abusive. She also points out that even poor fathers can serve as instructors on how not to act in a parental role. “When you have a trying parent,” she says, “they serve as a ‘great’ role model of what not to do in the upbringing of your own children. They help you renew your commitment to never become him.”
SOURCE Carol-Ann Hamilton